My Father

This is the hardest post to pen down…

It had been exactly two weeks & we are still grieving on our loss .... :(

19th February -- the day when my dad fell in the morning, admitted to NUH via ambulance, operated with 2 brain surgeries within 1-2 hours apart & the doctors were fighting to save his life. When I saw him in the evening, his body was hooked up with life support machine.

ICU doctors called @ about 2am & said they had done all that they could on my Dad in terms of surgical & medication as his brain pressure is so huge that they would have to keep him heavily sedated. Amongst us, we reached a mutual compromised -- we do not want Dad to suffer.

20th February -- @ ~ 7plus am, the head of neurosurgery asked what we want for Dad. We opt to maintain the current dosage & depend on his will to live. Everyone rushed to the hospital including my mom & grandmom & Dad’s sisters & most importantly, Dad’s beloved 4 grandchildren whom he loved dearly. Relatives flow by to visit him alive the last time…

21st February – The day his medication was stopped as it does not work on him. There is no glimpse of hope that Dad will live on.

10.00pm -- Dad’s breathe not detected & the machine indicated zero with a straight line.

10.30pm – the machine indicated zero pressure from a pressure of ~ 150 / 65 to 0/0. Heart rate still about 110.

10.45pm – ECG machine indicated ~ 40-50. ICU nurse came in & asked if there is anyone who wants to see dad must quickly come as he will leave any moment. This was the nerve wrecking moment. Unwilling to let him go…

11.10pm – ECG indicated 0 heart beat but the chart still reflect some activity. This goes on for another 20 minutes before the doctor certified him.

His Charisma
-- Superb down to earth man who worked very hard to provide for the family

-- Minimum temper unless one really drives him to the limit. Even with that, he neither shouts, screams nor yells.

-- Thrift on himself yet splurged on his loved ones

-- Thrive to protect his family at the expense of himself

-- An extremely big hearted man with a simple wish – his children to be happy

When I was young, despite having pocket monies, my father would secretly stuff me additional pocket monies so that I can buy whatever I like in school. He dotes on his grandchildren so much so that even if they had requested for the sun, he will try his utmost best to get it for them. This is DAD.

YES this is how good he is. Now that he is gone, I realized that all these whilst; I had been taking his presence for granted.

Pa, Thank you for being a wonderful father providing a balanced life for your children despite the type of life we lead when we were young. You had been a kind & virtuous man & I hoped you will be happier with no worries. If I had not been a well-behaved daughter, I am sorry terribly sorry. Life without you never seems the same. No one to greet me @ the door & no one to even wave goodbye to me when I am waiting for taxi. The kids had been asking where Ah Gong is & we replied you are in heaven. Please take good care of yourself & do not let others bully you just like you were being used to when you were young. If you can reincarnate, look for a good family as you deserved nothing but the best. PLEASE appear in my dreams soon as I desperately need to see you. I cannot just let you go like that.....